Monday, 18 November 2013

Chinchilla


It’s close to dawn or dusk and something furry’s lurking in the soft light
Under the grey you see a sight that burrows in the rocks
You try to stroke it but it jumps 6ft high before you make it
You give him lots of sticks and chew toys to keep their teeth right
That’s right

It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
But keep him nice and cool cause he don’t know just how to sweat
It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
He’s native to the Andes in Bolivia, Chile, Peru, yeah

There’s two types of chinchilla, one has shorter ears and tail
They’re a bit like a ground squirrel and are rodents don’t you know
They live in mountain herds high up at 14,000 feet
They like to eat plant leaves and fruits and insects and small grubs

It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
They only eat a tiny bit of grass or hay pellets
It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
Keep away the fat and fruit because they don’t like that

Chinchillas can hear very high notes a bit like a human
Their thick fur resists parasites like fleas and itchy things
They take their baths in pumice dust made of volcanic rock
Cause water stops them drying and is real bad for their skins

It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
Don’t take them for their fur because they’re under constant threat
It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
Remember always that they like to hang around with friends

It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet
They’re happy in the mountains, but can live with humans too
It’s a chinchilla, chinchilla pet

If you look after them properly, they’ll look right after you

Tuesday, 12 November 2013

Marshmillow, Marshmewllow, Marshmallow

There’s a funny little fellow
Who’s red and green and yellow.
He’s so small that his pillow
Is made of a marshmillow.

He wakes at 5am
Then goes to sleep again
He plays a tiny cello
And sits on a marshmellow.

This chap, whose name is Floo
Sings ‘Dinga donga doo’
As quiet as a bellow,
And wearing a marshmellow.

So, Floo, chew! Chomp that sugary goo! It’s not so good for you! Though delicious, it’s true!
You just can’t beat a sweet sweet treat!
Now everybody…
Stamp your feet!

Floo set up a a toy store
So he could buy some more.
Ran out of things to sell-o
And bought a new marshmellow.

He ate a hundred pounds
And could not leave the ground.
His stomach felt all ill-o
From too much marsh-a-mill-ow.

The moral of this story?
Well, try not to be naughty,
Don’t eat too many sweets
And you’ll stay on your feet!
The fluffy soft marshmallow
Is wonderful to swallow
But make sure that you chew
Or it will be the end of you!

So, Floo, chew! Chomp that sugary goo! It’s not so good for you! Though delicious, it’s true!
You just can’t beat a sweet sweet treat!
Now everybody…
Stamp your feet!
And shout! 

Marshmallows are neat!

Tuesday, 5 November 2013

Family Vacations


The world.
It is quite big.
My house.
That is also quite big.
(If you are a bug.)
I wonder where bugs go on vacation.
Do fleas take the fast cat? Or the doggie fur tram?
Or even
The birdy airplane?

A vacation.
What is that?
A holiday.
Time spent, that is that.
(Away from my normal day.)
I wonder if I will see my family?
Uncles, aunts, grandparents, cousins.
Maybe sometimes even nephews.
Sisters.
Brothers.

We share
These times together.
We share
Good and bad weather.
(Hopefully mostly good.)
I wonder, will we travel far?
Will we go by train? Will we go by car?
Will there be ice cream?
Or new flavours? New friends?
New places to spend
A little
Time.

The world.
It gets smaller.
Back at home
When you remember
(if you can recall!)
The things we did together
As for the fleas – well, jeez, Louise
They
Itch

Hike!

Tuesday, 29 October 2013

Komodo Dragon



Bet you didn’t thnk dragons were
Real.
Hmmmm?

Ssssssssssssssssssssseeeeeeee we are
 SO!
Don’t come too close because we
BITE!
And we have
VENOM!

Do you want to come and see us?
We live in the far
East
In only a few islands in
Indonesia.
Where are we on a map?
Can you find our home island?
Here is a clue:
It is called
KOMODO!

We come from a family called
Monitor Lizards.

We can grow to be 10 feet long!
That is higher than a school classroom!
And longer than a big SUV!

We have sharp claws and lonnnnngggggg
Tonnnggguuuueeeeeeessssss

When we move we shake our heads to taste the air
Then we can find our
DINNER
Yummmm

Our skin is made of scales with armour and even bones
This makes us very rugged and strong.

We like to live in hot, dry places like grasslands and savannahs.
We sleep in the night and run in the day.
We can run VERYFAST.
(But not for long)

Did you know that dragons were
Real?
Hmmmm?

Well now you do!

Monday, 21 October 2013

The Ballad of John the Woodcutter

John was a woodcutter
He did nobody harm
Every day he cut his wood
And kept his cottage warm
And kept his cottage warm

Deep in the midwinter
Just before the dawn
The trees creaked as the wind whipped up
Its passion for the storm
But inside, it was warm

But John slept on, regardless
Of the horrendous morn
He’d gathered wood from far and wide
To weather any storm
To keep his cottage warm

The wind blew long and violent
The rain raged down with scorn
Lightning flashed, and thunder cracked
It was a hellish storm
But inside it was warm

It worsened, and it worsened
But John was not forlorn
Outside his cottage he could see
The havoc of the storm
But inside he was warm

He sat there with his porridge
His bread, his simple corn
But John was sad, he wished he had
Someone to share his corn
Someone to share the warm

Go out! Go out!
Go out! Whispered the wind.
Breathed the wind.

So John put on his overcoat
And opened his rough door
He shivered as he staggered fast
Enveloped by the storm
But inside it was warm

He could not see the woodpath
The rain had lashed it all
Through mud he trudged, he knew not where
His steps would take him on
But they would take him on

Come here! Come here!
Sang the wind
Beckoned the wind

The rage and rain and thunder
Made John’s face red and raw
His back was bent, but on he went
Toward the wind god’s call
It was the wind god’s call

The wind god blasted, angry
That John could stand at all
For years the god had tried to blow
John’s house away, but no
The house stood proud and tall
And inside it was warm

John was weak and hungry
And lost inside the storm,
But he buttoned his overcoat
And inside he was warm
His coat would keep him warm

Dusk fell; the wood bruised blackly
Sprites danced, and cackling called
Across the dark, foreboding night
Ungodly noises all
The soundtrack to a storm
The wind god blew in thrall

Lay down, lay down
Said the wind
ordered the wind

Underneath an oak tree
John fell, discomfort raw
He had to sleep, he could not keep
His journey evermore
His tiredness was his all
Exhaustion made him fall

The wind god smiled, victorious
As if the game was won;
But John had closed his overcoat
And, buttoned, he was warm
He dreamt he was at home
Cause inside it was warm

And in his dream he saw her
As always he had thought
He knew her name, but not her face
He dared not look at her
In case she disappeared
He trembled in his fear

His arms reached out toward her
But, laughing, she ran off
John gave a frown, a tear ran down
His cheek, unkissed and rough
It was his lonely lot
But inside he was warm

The storm roared all around him
A wind god’s tantrum fought
To wake John up, but still he slept
Searching for his love
If ever she would come
To fill his heart with warmth

Wake up! Wake up!
Shouted the wind
Screamed the wind

John awoke, in pitch black
Surroundings, as if born
And as he yawned, in front of him
Trembled a tiny fawn
It shivered and it called
In need of hope and warm

John cried once more, with sadness
At this poor creature’s pain
And tenderly he opened up
His coat as round it rained
And beckoned to the fawn:
Inside this coat is warm

He held the creature closely
Protected from the storm;
“Tonight,” he said, “the two of us
Will keep each other warm
For inside it is warm
My coat will keep us warm.”

The wind god raged and blustered
This would not do at all
With mighty effort he blew direct
Onto John and the fawn
They kept each other warm
But vicious was the storm

I hate you, I hate you
Spat the wind
Hated the wind

And suddenly, the mighty force of the wind found a weakness
For John had opened his coat and he could not button it back tightly
The fawn, restored, skipped away from the raging wind
And the wind god had his prize as he blew John’s coat to the furthest corner of the forest
John shivered as he slept, and in his dream his love was also gone as the storm came to its head and danced death upon the forest

John woke, exhausted, hungry
With fever from the storm
He could not walk, he could not sit
His bones were fused and torn
His body racked and worn
His tears horror-borne

Delirious and dying
He shouted and he called
But no-one came, they were all safe
And sheltered from the storm
Keeping their families warm

Sleep death, sleep, death
Cackled the wind
Croaked the wind

John closed his eyes, defeated
And ready to move on
He made his peace with god and man
Ready to breathe his last
He felt his time had past
But suddenly light flashed

He knew not if he lived or died
Or if it night or morn,
Somehow he opened up his eyes
To see the lovely fawn
Who’d come back through the storm
For he had kept her warm.

She spoke to him, voice crystal
Like fresh dew was her song
“You must take your axe,” she said
“And kill me for my warmth,
My fur will keep you warm
My meat will spur you on.”

John said, “But I have saved you.
I cannot kill you now;
Leave me to die, it is my time
But you are young and strong
And life will carry on.”

The fawn said, “John, you do know
That this is fair and just
You must not think me dead,” she said
“So do just what you must -
Remember me at dusk
Remember me at dusk.”

So John struck once, and it was done; and the wind dropped forever
But the skies broke, and rain lashed down, deep and prismic. There seemed to hold a thousand nights of sadness in each single raindrop
John ate of the fawn’s meat, crying with every mouthful
Then he skinned the fawn and fashioned a coat
And trudged off back to his heavy-fashioned, sturdy cottage with the woodpile by the fire, and he fell into sleep

John, John
Whispered the wind
John, I am sorry
Breathed the wind

John dreamt of love and magic
And sharing warmth and corn
His love came back, and he looked up
And saw her eyes were warm
The eyes of John’s dead fawn

She smiled and spoke with crystal
A dewdrop in the sun
“I always loved you too,” she said
“But I could never come
For I am not the one.

“My father is the wind god
My mother is the storm
One night I had on this green earth
Disguised as a poor fawn
And John, you kept me warm.”

“And now you must not dally
Tomorrow you must go
To town, and find yourself someone
To share your life and love
Someone to share your warm.”

“But one thing I will tell you
Is when it’s said and done
Let love be your overcoat
And it will keep you warm
And always you’ll be warm.”

And with that she was gone
Her song was fully sung
Inside his heart was warm
Inside his heart was warm

Thank you, thank you
Said the wind
Cried the wind

And when he awoke the next day he skipped into town on the wings of a caressing breeze
He stopped by a tavern, and heard voices and laughter
And as he peered into the unfamiliar heady haze he caught the eye of a maiden
“Hello” she said, in a voice as crystal clear as the dew, “What’s your name?”
 __________________________________________________________________________


Bonk from Clonk


A young lad who lived in Grand Cayman
had a dream that he was a spaceman
He flew in the skies
to the planet of pies
Where he met an octopus-faced man



On the planet were wondrous things
like a doughnut-shaped dog made of strings
And a green-haired baboon
who lived on the moon
And bounced around daily on springs



There were blackberries bigger than trees
and everyone had fifty knees
Sixteen eyes and a nose
and eleventy toes
And fingers they counted in threes



The friendly alien Bonk
said the planet’s name was clonk
The spaceboy replied
“Do you think that is why
When I walk my spaceboots go ‘donk’?”



Bonk replied, “Yes, it is true
that those noises are coming from you
But they’re not from your feet
because just for a treat
We have given you magic donk shoes”



Now the shoes had five wings on each side
cause the people of Clonk realised
That getting around
without making a sound
Was easier if everyone flied



(because in Clonkety language
 that’s sometimes how things were established
If they knew not a word
 it was never absurd
To invent one, and then make a sandwich)



So the boy said, “thank you Mr. Bonk
how can I repay planet Clonk?”
And Bonk said, “It’s easy:
just sit in the breezy
And together we will sing a sonk



It’s the national anthem of Clonk
this easy and squeezy old sonk
Are you ready my friend?
Let us sing to the end
Our wonderful loverly sonk”



(are you ready? This is how it goes…)



A-Bonkety bonkety bonk
clonkety clonkety clonk,
Donkety donk,
e- flonkety flonk,
Gonkety gonkety gonk.



Honkety honkety honk,
 i-jonkety jonkety jonk,
Lonkety lonkety,
monkety monkety,
Nonkety nonkety nonk.



O-ponkety ponkety plonk,
quonkety quonkety quonk,
Ronkety ronkety,
sonkety sonkety,
Tonkety tonkety tonk.



U-vonkety vonkety vonk,
wonkety Wonkety Wonk,
Xonkety, xonkety,
yonkety Yonkety,
Zonkety zonkety…


Clonk.

The Siberian Tiger



The snow is white, crinkled, hugging empty branches. I sit, steady and solid, warmed up by my fluffy winter coat. I am waiting.
Across the vast tundra of whiteness I spy a movement. Yes, there, in a copse, behind an evergreen tree. There again, a scrape, a momentary flicker of orange and black, tricky to pick out against the woods but unmistakable if you know what to look for.
I creep closer and as I do so, the figure also stops. This giant, magnificent cat with ice blue eyes and haughty demeanour shows me his teeth. He shakes his mighty head and does not bother with a roar because he knows his own power already. Not today, his gaze says as he stares into my soul.
We share the same earth, now and forever.

As he pads off into the trees I wonder whether we all have a tiger within us.